An open letter to James Franco

Dear James,

Last night I saw you on Saturday Night Live, and it was with interest that I heard you mention that you are now a student at Columbia, right here in New York City.

I think you should know that it's over between us.   

I'm a married lady now.  And a mom.  And I just think it'd be inappropriate for our relationship to continue.

I know, I know.  We've been together since high school.  

Remember when we took this picture? Of course I wasn't in it with you, but like you said, somebody has to take the picture, right?  Just like someone had to hold your jacket when you moshed, and someone had to loan you money for a tattoo, and walk (adopt) your dog once things started going for you, acting wise.

But then you got wicked rich and tried to kill Spider Man and

became a dude model for Gucci, and ever since then you've kind of felt like a stranger to me.  I mean, really, showing your armpit hair for the world to see!  

I know I was said I was fine with you being famous and everything, but honestly, it's starting to cramp my style a little bit.

I hope you understand.

xoxo

AMV